Welcome BBQ for S.A.M. Whopping success.
Go-Karting. I only came in 3rd for the Men's race. -_-"
Strawberry Farm. From an initial target of 24 to the eventual convoy of 10 cars. One of the biggest Roadtrip for S.A.M yet.Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Snippets of my Last Semester (1)
Welcome BBQ for S.A.M. Whopping success.Go-Karting. I only came in 3rd for the Men's race. -_-"Strawberry Farm. From an initial target of 24 to the eventual convoy of 10 cars. One of the biggest Roadtrip for S.A.M yet.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
The Black Hole
Almost 3 years ago, I stepped into Melbourne with only one thing in mind, "One Goal, One Dream". I had a point to prove, that I am better than what I had been, that the wasted years spent in mediocrity is no more than a blip in my life. The anticipation of a fresh start overwhelms any possible anxiety of what is to come in the years ahead.
And so, in the next 3 years, I was focused on the 'simple' task of achieving academic excellence, reminding myself constantly on how my mediocre past has resulted in my parents having to fork out A$22,000 for tuition fees annually instead of the S$5,000+ had I managed to squeeze into the Big 3 like most of my peers. I am the anomaly, and I made sure I remembered how painful that is. It never was easy to be stepping into any of the Big 3 to visit friends, seeing others having orientation camps, making new friends, knowing that I'm not part of the 'club' and it took time for me to get used to it.
Nonetheless, I stuck to my task and there are times when I mugged like there was no day and night. Once I had built up that sort of momentum, I felt like it could go on forever. And when and if I did fail to get HD for any unit, at least I know I can still hold my head high and say that I've given my best shot at it. To a large extent, I believe I have achieved that but I'll always be scarred by my 'P' in my testamur. And I'm not even talking about a strong P, 52 to be precise. I barely passed. To say that I was shocked when i saw the mark was an understatement, and after viewing my exam script, I had every reason to feel disgrunted and unjust about the result. I could have brought it up to the chief examiner that I should have at least gotten a Credit but weighing up the Cost-Benefit Analysis, I decided against that, in risk of straining relations with the lecturers. But this, I'll never forget.
And of course, there's S.A.M. Almost like my baby. The journey from the bottom of the hierarchy as a Gen. Comm. to the top of the ladder was indeed something to remember. The challenges were immense, to reverse declining interest and membership base, to resurrect the hopelessly hopeless SSAV and now VSSA (actually, it still is hopeless despite the 'revamp') just to name 2. But with the challenges also come with the unexpected perks of being involved in the Singapore Day in Melbourne and meeting celebrities at such close proximity during the Gala Dinner. As I step down from my position unofficially, whether or not I've done a good job is for others to judge, but I can't help but think that there's so much more that I could and should have done. That I remain disappointed that certain things did not turn out as I had hoped they would have.
So, you would think, with my decent grades, decent extra curricular activities and decent internships that things are pretty much on the right track. Well, if you had told me 3 years ago that I would come through with these 'achievements', I would have grabbed them with both hands (and legs). And then comes the now-infamous GFS which pretty much derailed everything and flushed everything down the toilet bowl. It's like the black hole, where I only see total darkness ahead of me. I sit here, in the comfort of my home in Singapore, wondering why am I sitting here, literally sitting and doing nothing and having nothing to do for the next 6 months. It's not just about finding an internship to fill the gap, it's about the purpose. Suddenly, after sprinting at break-neck speed for the past 3 years, you thought you had turned a corner, but like some of us would have heard this, I probably turned so many corners that all I've done is just turning in circles. I'm lost, literally. And after being out of this 'system' for 3 years, all I hope is for that one break, to show what I can do, to prove that I'm up to it. Just that one break.
And of course, there's S.A.M. Almost like my baby. The journey from the bottom of the hierarchy as a Gen. Comm. to the top of the ladder was indeed something to remember. The challenges were immense, to reverse declining interest and membership base, to resurrect the hopelessly hopeless SSAV and now VSSA (actually, it still is hopeless despite the 'revamp') just to name 2. But with the challenges also come with the unexpected perks of being involved in the Singapore Day in Melbourne and meeting celebrities at such close proximity during the Gala Dinner. As I step down from my position unofficially, whether or not I've done a good job is for others to judge, but I can't help but think that there's so much more that I could and should have done. That I remain disappointed that certain things did not turn out as I had hoped they would have.
So, you would think, with my decent grades, decent extra curricular activities and decent internships that things are pretty much on the right track. Well, if you had told me 3 years ago that I would come through with these 'achievements', I would have grabbed them with both hands (and legs). And then comes the now-infamous GFS which pretty much derailed everything and flushed everything down the toilet bowl. It's like the black hole, where I only see total darkness ahead of me. I sit here, in the comfort of my home in Singapore, wondering why am I sitting here, literally sitting and doing nothing and having nothing to do for the next 6 months. It's not just about finding an internship to fill the gap, it's about the purpose. Suddenly, after sprinting at break-neck speed for the past 3 years, you thought you had turned a corner, but like some of us would have heard this, I probably turned so many corners that all I've done is just turning in circles. I'm lost, literally. And after being out of this 'system' for 3 years, all I hope is for that one break, to show what I can do, to prove that I'm up to it. Just that one break.
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